It’s Up to You: How a Positive Mindset Can Change Everything

It's Up to You to Enjoy This Awful-Looking Place

Like many Coloradans, I will occasionally strap long sticks on my feet and slide down the sides of large mountains. When I was in my early 20s, I skied frequently, but was still on my learning journey. Many of the runs at the resort were easy-peasy for me; several gave me heart palpitations just looking at them. 

One ski morning, as I put on my four clothing layers, I paused. I knew that we were going with others who would want to ski fast down hard terrain (i.e. out of my comfort zone). I sighed. I asked my soon-to-be husband, “Are we going to have fun today?” 

I will admit to you: I had a cloud of grump surrounding me. I did not feel like putting on all of the gear, lugging our skis, waiting in traffic to then wait in lift lines. I questioned why I was choosing this activity on my day off work. For all of the prep and travel time of skiing, you actually do the act of skiing a teeny tiny percentage of the day you devote to the hobby. Can you hear how excited I was to go? I meant it: “Are we going to have fun today?”

He took my grumpiness in stride and calmly replied, “it’s up to you.” 

It’s Up To You.

Why did those four words cut deep and why am I talking about it decades later? 

Probably because it’s a simple truth; it’s beautiful how simple it is, and yet how hard it is too. 

A positive mindset can change everything.

Back to the story: Rachel was complaining about spending time in the beautiful outdoors with friends. Whether or not I had fun was up to me. 

I could choose to find the ugly, the inconvenient, or the bad. It’s easy to find things to complain about. I bet you could think of a list of ten things to adult-whine about right now in less than 30 seconds. Please, resist! Because when we seek to complain, we are inadvertently training our brains to find the bad in any situation. We don’t fall into this habit passively; rather, we end up wiring our brains to seek things to complain about, which then creates the habit. 

I would rather look for the good, look for the helpers (shout out to Mr. Rogers), and look for what we can be thankful for. 

Taken too far, yes, this can lead to toxic positivity. However, I’ll bet you my uncomfortable ski boots that most of us could use more nontoxic positivity in our lives. All-natural, organic, cage-free, free range positivity. Breathe it in, folks!

It's Up to You.

I share this story because the four words kick my proverbial butt on the regular. Procrastinating about finishing that boring adulting task? It’s up to you to finish it.

Whiny because you got stuck in traffic? It’s up to you how you respond - with gratitude for having a car and for spending another day on this planet with those you love - with appreciation for a new song on the radio or a funny podcast - or with the anger that comes so easily while we drive. 

I chose to have fun that day on the slopes. I do not do this perfectly everyday. My husband now trolls me with this axiom when he sees me choosing poorly. But, like in any healthy marriage, I can use his words against him too. 

Those four words remind me that while I can’t control everything, I can always choose my posture toward the moment.

I can reset my mindset.

What scenarios in your life would it be helpful to remember that it’s up to us? 

How can you keep this top of mind? 

Curious to learn more about how the Enneagram can help us to wake up to these patterns? Learn more here. 

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